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DDs and DLDs

Daily Deviations:
The MachineI. Terric struggled to keep his eyes focused on the board, his head threatening to fall onto his desk if his arm ceased holding it up. He checked his watch. It ticked away, sleepily, and he found himself mesmerized by its exposed, moving gears. It had once belonged to his father; his mind floated back to childhood memories. History class was boring. Pointless. Every year the material was the same. The teen adjusted his round spectacles as he feigned watching the teacher, his thoughts elsewhere.
Galactic History, they said, was now too expansive for mere students to grasp, so the public schools now settled to regurgitate the story of the Harmonian colonies. The solar system of Harmonia was discovered by a team of heroic adventurers in 3027, and colonized by the countries of the planet Earth as a diplomatic gesture after their fifth world war, and the very diplomatic and peaceful and benevolent Interplanetary Fleet governs the colonies... etcetera, etcetera. It felt more like propaganda

Daily Lit Deviations:
i saw stars in your eyesi saw stars in your eyes:
and on your lips i found
the heavens, the
infinite expansion of
a cosmos in your lungs,
lush on your breath as it
my blood in a spiral,
the grand clockwork of
the milky way -- alive
at your touch, at the
taste of your fingertips.
moving in rythym as  
the tide shaking an ocean of stars:
a wave crashing down on
the sands of neptune's far shore,
a comet aflame streaks across
the night sky -- sighing softly,
our arms entwined in wonder,
a salty sea on our tongues.
we held each other,
we felt a planet in
revolution around us:
a sun in supernova,
blazing, burning from a
million light-years


Nerd with style by Claire-stampsScience Fiction by i-stampUniverse Stamp by Kezzi-RoseBisexual Stamp by sunbirdsstamp. by Jackspicerrules13Monster Energy Drink Stamp by WolvenFlamesEpic Squirtle Stamp by MissLadyPokemonWriting is a talent. by PixieRiotSwinging Pikachu Stamp by The-Blue-PangolinEleventh Doctor Stamp by TwilightProwlerKeep Hope Alive by alexnartit mocks me by ajCorza


Going down the rabbit hole

Journal Entry: Mon Jun 2, 2014, 3:38 PM

I've been worried about my writing for a while.

To be honest, everything I've written in the past two years has been -- crap. On a technical level, it's fine, and quite an improvement from my older works. But none of it had the magic that my writing used to have. None of it seemed inspired, and I don't think it reads as inspired, either. What am I doing here? This, truthfully, is one of the reasons why I'm leaving the creative writing program. It's true, I have found other things that I'm passionate about and things that I can make a career out of. But I'm also having questions about writing.

How can I reclaim that magic? That's what I've been asking myself. But lately I'm asking another question: Do I want the magic back?

To answer those questions, I first have to figure out: What is the magic? Personally, I think that it's my ability to go down the rabbit hole. All the way down. But there's a problem: for me, the rabbit hole is full of oxygenated perfluorocarbons -- you can breathe in it, but on every level it resembles water. And submerging yourself in it feels just like drowning.

The way I used to be, I didn't mind drowning. But now, my survival instinct is too strong and holds me back from going down there. I still drown in some things: becoming obsessed is part of who I am. When that obsession is my fiction, it becomes inspired. But becoming obsessed with a fantasy world is one of those dangerous things.

What does the future hold for me in terms of writing? So far I'm suffering from a lack of practice, and my work has gotten a bit worse, not better like it should be. I got waitlisted for Alpha this year. Can I turn that trend around? With enough work, I think so.

Writing has never been just a hobby for me. It was always a calling -- something that defined who I was, something that I had a special talent for. Beyond that, it was going to be a career. That may still be true, in addition to my other career path -- but as things are now, it won't happen. I am simply not good enough and will never become good enough unless I make a key decision. Will I let myself drown again?

I'm thinking about restarting my novel, and rewriting it from the beginning. Doing so will take time (which I thankfully have enough of, for now), effort, focus, and a bit of chutzpah. True -- I actually enjoy life with both feet grounded in reality, and I enjoy it in ways I wouldn't have thought possible years ago, even without writing as seriously as I was then. That's why it's a gutsy decision. I have to ask myself what writing means to me now. It won't be my primary career, most likely. But is it still something I'm going to dedicate a significant portion of my life to, or is it just something I enjoy on my time off? Am I still serious about it? Am I still truthfully a writer, or am I just someone who writes?

It's been a difficult couple of years and I think it's really affected my abilities as an artist, so it's worth talking about.

(In other news, work is still coming along on my memoir project, as well.)

About Me

I'm Elliot! I'm a speculative fiction writer. I'm eighteen years old, a Ravenclaw, and I'm a student majoring in psychology at Stony Brook University. I've always wanted to be a writer. I live on eastern Long Island, NY with my three cats. I particularly like hard science fiction and dark fantasy. I attended Alpha workshop in 2013.

Some things I'm passionate about are gay rights and mental health advocacy -- both of which are issues that strike close to home. Feel free to ask me any questions. I'm a little shy, but I actually love to talk.

"You are a premium subscription to madness daily." -- HoboScone

Books: Ender's Game, It's Kind of A Funny Story, Brave New World, Girl Interrupted, Harry Potter, An Unquiet Mind
Movies: Gattaca, Crazy People, X-Men: First Class, Dead Poets Society
Television: Star Trek: TNG, Doctor Who, Avatar: TLA
Music: Muse, Anamanaguchi, The Glitch Mob, Florence + The Machine
Games: Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, Pokemon
Other: Cats, tea, bow ties, the stars

my tumblr



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catpuck Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi. wanna join my group called Anti-illuminati-01? anti-illuminati-01.deviantart.…
JayDanjerCobain Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the favourite :)
elGallifrey Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Student Writer
No problem!
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Thanks for the faves!
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You're welcome!
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Thank you for joining Souljournalists! To be featured in our next Blab Journal, please comment here with a piece of your own non-fiction and at least one non-fiction piece from another deviant. We hope you enjoy the group!  :ahoy:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the devWatch :la:
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Thanks for the watch! :wow:
elGallifrey Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Student Writer
No problem!
SheDares Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Student General Artist
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